The Fragile Fall Read online

  Copyright © 2014 by Kristy Love

  All rights reserved.

  This book or any portion thereof may not be reproduced or used in any manner whatsoever without the express written permission of the publisher except for the brief quotations in a book review.

  This book is a work of fiction. Any names, places, characters, and incidents are a product of the author’s imagination and are purely fictitious. Any resemblances to any persons, living or dead, are completely coincidental.

  Edited by: Jennifer Roberts-Hall

  Cover Design by ©: Sarah Hansen at Okay Creations.

  Interior Design: Kassi Cooper at Kassi’s Kandids Formatting

  Paperback:

  ISBN-13: 978-1-5006-1805-6

  ISBN-10: 1500618055

  Contents

  Title page

  copyright

  Dedication

  Prologue

  Chapter One

  Chapter Two

  Chapter Three

  Chapter Four

  Chapter Five

  Chapter Six

  Chapter Seven

  Chapter Eight

  Chapter Nine

  Chapter Ten

  Chapter Eleven

  Chapter Twelve

  Chapter Thirteen

  Chapter Fourteen

  Chapter Fifteen

  Chapter Sixteen

  Chapter Seventeen

  Chapter Eighteen

  Chapter Nineteen

  Chapter Twenty

  Chapter Twenty-One

  Chapter Twenty-Two

  Chapter Twenty-Three

  Chapter Twenty-Four

  Chapter Twenty-Five

  Chapter Twenty-Six

  Chapter Twenty-Seven

  Chapter Twenty-Eight

  Chapter Twenty-Nine

  Chapter Thirty

  Chapter Thirty-One

  Chapter Thirty-Two

  Chapter Thirty-Three

  Chapter Thirty-Four

  Chapter Thirty-Five

  Chapter Thirty-Six

  Chapter Thirty-Seven

  Chapter Thirty-Eight

  Chapter Thirty-Nine

  Epilogue

  Author’s Note:

  Acknowledgements

  Coming Soon

  About the Author

  To my husband, Josh.

  Thank you for believing in me even when I didn’t believe in myself.

  AS I LAID ON THE ASPHALT, fluffy snow fell from the sky, covering me and the ground. My cheek was pressed against the asphalt causing the cold to seep into my body. The smell of gasoline, oil, and blood made me nauseous as warm, sticky blood trickled down my forehead, accenting the pounding in my head. I reached into the wreckage, wanting to touch them one last time.

  Somehow, I knew. I knew those rasping breaths were the last they would take.

  Her eyes weren’t open as she hung upside down. Her hair hung, stretching toward the roof of the car. Blood flowed from the gash on her face and saturated her hair, turning the blonde into a sickening red color. Her arm rested on the ceiling and blood pooled under her fingers. She was pale. So pale. I felt like I was watching the life drip out of her with each drop of blood and there was nothing I could do.

  The car creaked as the metal settled. The engine ticked. I heard sirens in the distance, getting closer.

  He was strapped to the driver’s seat and both of his arms stretched over his head. His eyes were partially open as he looked at me, blinking slowly. Every time his eyes closed, my heart jumped as I expected them to stay closed, but they continued to open and find mine. He bled from wounds on his cheek, forehead, and chin. I wasn’t sure how he was still conscious. I only knew I didn’t want to leave him.

  I didn’t want to leave them alone for their final moments.

  I shivered as the cold soaked into my muscles and I wasn’t sure if I would ever be warm again. His eyes closed and fluttered as he struggled to open them again. The sirens were blaring behind me, red and white light bathing the scene, accentuating the blood pouring from their wounds.

  Garbled voices spoke, but I couldn’t understand them. I couldn’t hear anything over the ringing in my ears and the pounding of blood. Strong hands lifted me from the ground and guided me onto a stretcher. A neck brace was wrapped around my neck and a thermal blanket was placed over me. More words were spoken. I didn’t bother trying to understand them. I couldn’t tear my attention away from the wreckage. My heart ached and I feared it would quit.

  I had made so many mistakes and I had paid the ultimate price.

  I watched as they cut the doors of the car open and pulled their bodies out. Their bodies were placed on gurneys and whisked away into another waiting ambulance. Fear seized my heart. Would I ever see them alive again?

  I was asked more questions and I ignored them. My voice had left and I didn’t care. Nothing mattered. I turned my head and looked away from them.

  No amount of penance would redeem me.

  Will

  THE HOUSE PHONE RANG.

  I pulled my headphones off and pushed myself out of the beanbag chair. The phone was downstairs, so I had to run down the stairs to answer it. Sliding into the kitchen, I grabbed the phone.

  “Hello?”

  “Will? Are you okay? I’ve been calling for twenty minutes. You had me worried.”

  “Sorry, Aunt Liv. I was up in my room playing video games. I had my headphones on and didn’t hear the phone until just now.” I felt bad for worrying her. The last thing I needed to do was make her life harder.

  “It’s fine. But if you’re going to do that, take the handset upstairs with you.”

  “I will.”

  “I’m going to be a little late tonight. One of the afternoon nurses called off and I have to cover the first part of her shift until someone else can come in. I’ll bring dinner home.”

  “Okay, no problem. I’ll be here.” I walked back toward my room, pressing the phone between my shoulder and ear.

  “I know you will.” She sighed loudly. “I’m sorry you’ve been alone a lot the past couple weeks, but with Tammy having the baby and Steph having surgery, we’ve been a little shorthanded.”

  “It’s not a problem, Aunt Liv. I understand.”

  “I just wish you had someone else to hang out with. I hate that you’re always alone.”

  “I’m fine.” Truthfully, I was painfully lonely, but there was nothing I could do about it.

  “I have to get back to work. I was just calling to check on you and to let you know I would be late. I’ll see you later.”

  “Bye.”

  I hung up the phone and plopped down in my beanbag chair, placing the phone next to me. I changed games from Halo to Skyrim and turned the volume down so I could put on music. I needed the noise so the silence didn’t suffocate me. I played an insane amount of video games. I could play them online, so it gave me some interaction with people, and when I wasn’t in the social mood, which was the majority of the time, I played alone. I still loved reading and tried to break up the monotony of video games by reading books, but my life was nothing but monotonous.

  I’d moved to Fairfax, Virginia to live with Aunt Liv almost five months ago. Aunt Liv was my mom’s younger sister. She had moved out of her parents’ home at eighteen and never went back. My mom wasn’t incredibly close with Aunt Liv, and though we had seen her a few times a year it still felt like I’d moved in with a stranger.

  I grew up in Hartford, Ohio — a sleepy little town where everyone knew everyone and kept an eye on each other. I was trapped in my house with my parents and the only people I was allowed to hang out with had to be pre-approved by my parents.

  But those pre-approved friends ended up being a mistake.

  Fairfax
was the complete opposite of Hartford. It was large and full of people with no sense of community. In all the time I’d lived with my aunt, not one person had come to visit, and she worked the majority of the time, so I spent almost every moment of every day alone. The only interaction I’d had was with Aunt Liv and the therapist she dragged me to every week. Therapy was completely pointless because the therapist asked questions, I gave one or two-word answers and that was it. I didn’t discuss my feelings or talk about what happened; I just sat there. It was a waste of time, but Aunt Liv made me go. Saying I had a lot of issues to deal with.

  I had felt isolated before, but now I felt completely alone. I enjoyed some of the freedom I was given now. I was able to choose my own music, read any book I wished and, of course, I was allowed to play video games.

  But the loneliness was still crippling.

  It was the middle of July and I had a month to mentally prepare myself for entering my senior year of high school. Except I wasn’t preparing myself. I avoided thinking about it at all costs. The closer the start of school got, the more my anxiety rose. I would be alone surrounded by people who were already established in their groups. I’d be the outsider.

  I was sick of being the outsider.

  As I sat in my room, I heard music and laughter from the neighbor’s house. I tried turning my music up, but I still heard it. As I heard them laughing and talking, I ached to be a part of it. I wanted to have friends to laugh with and listen to music with. I wanted a life. I paused my game and crept to the window, pressing my back flat against the wall and moving the curtain slightly so I could peek out.

  Three girls were sitting in lounge chairs around a pool. I moved so I could see them better, resting my hands flat against the window sill. They looked around my age, maybe a little older. The girl in the middle was reading a magazine as she chatted with the other two, her blonde hair poking over the top of the magazine. She had long, toned legs and her stomach was flat under her red and white polka dotted bikini. Her skin was golden and glistened slightly in the sun.

  I couldn’t tear my eyes away from her.

  The girl on the left popped up on her elbow and looked at the girl on the right. They exchanged some kind of look and mischievous smiles curled their lips. The girl with the magazine was oblivious as the two girls stood up. One grabbed Magazine Girl under her arms and the other grabbed her feet, then they carried her over to the pool and tossed her in, magazine and all. When she resurfaced, she threw her magazine out of the pool and spit water everywhere as she laughed. She climbed out of the pool and chased the other two girls. She kept trying to push her friends in the pool, but failed. Eventually, the two girls jumped in the pool. Magazine Girl’s face lit up with laughter and I wished I didn’t have music on so that I could hear her. After several moments, she stopped laughing and wrung her hair out, brushing the water off her skin.

  Watching the three girls laugh, I found myself chuckling as though I was down there with them. The smile on my lips felt foreign. I couldn’t remember the last time I had smiled, let alone laughed. My lips twitched to keep the smile lingering there.

  Magazine Girl ran her fingers through her hair and brought it over one of her shoulders. She turned slightly and looked up into my window, catching me as I leaned forward with my face practically pressed against the window. As she met my eyes, my smile slipped from my lips. She put a hand over her eyes to shield the sun as she smiled. My mind screamed at me to pull my eyes away and take cover, but I couldn’t.

  She looked over her shoulder and said something to one of her friends, then turned back and looked at me. Our gazes collided and I felt like the air was forced from my lungs. I pulled in a desperate breath and reality slammed into me. Finally able to move, I dove onto my bed and buried my face in my pillow. I probably looked like a major pervert and they were getting ready to call the cops to file a complaint about the peeping Tom.

  The doorbell rang and my heart stopped cold. She was probably at the door, ready to yell at me for staring at her and her friends. I pushed myself out of my bed and crept down the stairs with my heart pounding and the sweat pouring down my face. Resting my head against the door, I attempted to gather the courage to open it and face the music.

  “I know you’re home!” she called through the door.

  Taking a deep breath, I grabbed the doorknob and opened it. There stood Magazine Girl in her red and white bikini, hair still wet and dripping. I watched as a droplet fell and made its way between her breasts. Her skin looked even softer up close and perfectly tanned. My eyes traveled back up and met her piercing green ones.

  She smirked and lifted an eyebrow. “You must be Will. Liv told me her nephew was living with her, but I’ve never seen you, so I figured you were a ghost or something. But here you are in the flesh.” Her smile grew.

  “Yeah, here I am.”

  “As I’m sure you’ve noticed, I have a few friends over. Go throw some swim trunks on and come join us.” Her eyes traveled slowly down my body, taking in my black T-shirt and sweatpants. I had more clothes on than she did, yet somehow she had me feeling more exposed.

  “I, uh … I’ll have to go see if I have any…”

  “If not, you can borrow a pair from my brother.” Her eyes swept down my body again. “You look like you’re about his size.” She stepped into the house as another water drop made its way down her chest and I fought hard to not watch its descent. “Is Liv home?”

  “No, she’s at work.”

  “Is she on day shifts this week?”

  “Yeah.”

  “That explains why she hasn’t been over. She usually comes over and hangs out with us. I haven’t seen her much since you moved in, but I guess it’s tough to go from living alone to having a teenager.”

  “Yeah, it’s definitely an adjustment.” For both of us.

  She nodded. “Oh, my name is Ryanne.” She extended her hand and I grabbed it tentatively. Her skin was soft and slightly cool from the water. “Has Liv mentioned me?”

  “She has.” Liv had told me a good deal about Jax and Ryanne. She had wanted me to meet them, but I refused. I didn’t trust people and I definitely didn’t trust people my own age.

  Ryanne quirked a brow but didn’t press the issue. “Are you going to check or do you want to stand here all day?”

  “Oh, yeah. I’ll be right back.” I ran up the stairs and rifled through the drawers to find my swim trunks. Once I found them, I quickly put them on, not wanting to leave Ryanne waiting any longer.

  “Ready to go?” Ryanne asked. I nodded and she laced her arm through mine before leading me outside toward her house.

  Ryanne

  I’D NEVER FORGET THE MORNING Liv came over to tell us about the car accident. Her eyes were puffy and red, like she had been up crying all night.

  “My sister and brother-in-law were killed late last night in a car accident,” she said, her eyes puffy and glistening with tears. I squeezed her hand. “It was a drunk driving accident.”

  “I’m so sorry, Liv.” My heart broke for her. “Is there anything we can do for you?”

  She rubbed her eyes. “I’m not sure. I haven’t seen much of my sister over the years. She was older than me and we weren’t too close. I tried to see her a couple times a year, but we were so different that I didn’t make much of an effort. I’m a terrible sister.”

  She cried softly into her hands for a few minutes. I was close to tears as I watched her breakdown, but I told myself to be strong. She needed someone to support her.

  She looked up, her face gripped in grief. “They had a son. He’s coming to live with me. There’s no other family. I have to leave and go up there and help him pack up his entire life.”

  My heart twisted some more. “Oh, Liv…that’s terrible.”

  “And this boy has nothing. Absolutely nothing. He has no friends to rely on. I don’t know what to do for him. I don’t know how to be a mother.”

  “You’re awesome. You won’t have a problem. You�
�ve been like a mother to us,” Jax said.

  Liv smiled sadly at him. “Thanks, Jax. Will needs more than a mother, though. He needs so much and I don’t know how to provide that for him.”

  “We’re here to help you if you need it.”

  She wiped her eyes. “I have to get going. Will’s been alone since last night. I need to go pack a bag and make arrangements to get up there. Can you keep an eye on the house?”

  “Sure, no problem.” I wished there was something I could do to help them both.

  After she had left, I’d felt sad, so I stayed close to Jax, realizing it could easily be us in that situation. If something happened to Jax, I would be alone. He was the only family I really had. Our mom had left when I was four and Jax was two. We never heard from her after that, so I pretended that she never existed; it made the hurt from being abandoned less severe. My dad was technically still in the picture, but he was always working, and when he came home, he worked some more. He was an engineer and constantly traveling, leaving me in charge.

  When Mom left, I started taking care of Jax almost immediately. I would do whatever Dad would let me do—playing with him, telling him stories, getting him snacks. I had to potty train him, dress him, read to him, put him to bed, bathe him. Even though I was only two years older, I became his parent and my dad had let it happen. Any time Jax accomplished anything, I was so proud of him. I felt like his mother, his sister, and his friend all rolled into one person. It was a fine line to walk.

  Other than Jax, the only people I had were my few friends. I could rely on them if something happened to Jax, but her nephew sounded like he was completely alone, no friends and no family. I couldn’t imagine losing everyone I knew in one night and then having to uproot my entire life.

  When Liv got up to Ohio, she sent us texts letting us know how things were going. She asked Jax a ton of questions about what kinds of things to get her nephew to help him feel at home, then she had everything shipped to our house so we could hold onto it until she got home. Her grief was palpable, even separated by so many miles.

  Liv brought Will back to Virginia twelve days after his parents had been killed. I only knew they were back because Liv’s SUV was parked in the driveway again. After months of not seeing him, I had almost convinced myself that Will didn’t exist, so when I saw him in the window, I jumped at the opportunity to go over and introduce myself.