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  HeartLess

  Kristy Love

  HeartLess

  Copyright © 2018 by Kristy Love

  All rights reserved.

  This book or any portion thereof may not be reproduced or used in any manner whatsoever without the express written permission of the publisher except for the brief quotations in a book review.

  This book is a work of fiction. Any names, places, characters, and incidents are a product of the author’s imagination and are purely fictitious. Any resemblances to any persons, living or dead, are completely coincidental.

  Edited by: Mitzi Carroll

  Proofreading by: Marisa Nichols

  Cover Design by ©: Emily Wittig at Emily Wittig Photography and Design

  Dedication

  To Bianca Smith. Because of you, this book is out there. You have the most beautiful soul and I’m lucky to count you among my friends.

  Contents

  Prologue

  Part One

  Chapter 1

  Chapter 2

  Chapter 3

  Chapter 4

  Chapter 5

  Chapter 6

  Chapter 7

  Chapter 8

  Chapter 9

  Chapter 10

  Chapter 11

  Chapter 12

  Part Two

  Chapter 13

  Chapter 14

  Chapter 15

  Chapter 16

  Chapter 17

  Chapter 18

  Chapter 19

  Chapter 20

  Chapter 21

  Chapter 22

  Chapter 23

  Chapter 24

  Chapter 25

  Chapter 26

  Chapter 27

  Chapter 28

  Chapter 29

  Chapter 30

  Epilogue

  Also By Kristy Love

  About the Author

  Acknowledgments

  Prologue

  Ellie Goulding was the perfect way to start my day. My hips swayed, my steps bounced, blood pumping.

  I was an event planner for a prestigious planning company in Pittsburgh. Music was my way to mentally prepare for my day. I needed it to pump myself up, get my game face on. I’d even planned a few events in other countries. I loved it. I loved the way I could break down the events into tiny details and plan them, control every element. I loved the order, the procedure, turning chaos into something beautiful.

  My song ended and turned into another song, the collection randomly generated by Spotify. I didn’t immediately recognize the opening bars of the tune, but as soon as the voice filled my ears, I ripped my headphones out and shoved them in my purse. I scowled at my phone, annoyed at it for disrupting my few moments of fun. My heel snagged in the cracked pavement. “Fuck,” I mumbled. I stumbled but was able to regain my balance before I fell flat on my ass.

  I turned the music off, my Zen completely ruined. I got to the crosswalk and pressed the button, so I could cross the street. A bus stop shelter was a few feet away from me, and a poster caught my eye. HeartLess at the PPG Paints Arena. I glared at the poster. Not only had they graced my morning jam session, but now they were crashing my city? My good mood from earlier crumbled. I trained my eyes forward and waited for the walk sign to flash, then speed walked across the street as soon as I could.

  I opened the door and inhaled a deep breath, centering myself. I had a huge client coming in today, and I needed to be ready. I had no clue who it was or what type of event I’d be planning. My boss, Nadine, had called me yesterday telling me she’d cleared my schedule to take on a last-minute client that needed the ultimate VIP treatment. In her usual fashion, she’d neglected to tell me who it was. It didn’t matter; I’d handle it.

  On the fifteenth floor, I smiled at our receptionist who was on the phone. In huge, sweeping letters, As You Wish was etched behind her on a pane of glass. I was filled with pride every time I saw it, knowing I’d taken my passion and made it into a career. Not only had I made it into my livelihood, but I was good at it. Not just good, I was excellent. Clients requested me by name—even sports figures and celebrities.

  I went straight to my boss’s office and knocked on her door. “Come in,” she called from behind the closed door.

  “Hey, Nadine,” I said. Her brown eyes swept over my body, taking in my appearance. Nadine believed in perfection, and I had no doubt she’d send me back home to change if I didn’t meet her criteria for the day. Well, maybe not home, but definitely to Macy’s to pick up something that satisfied her. I fought the urge to smooth my gray pencil skirt or adjust my burgundy blazer. I didn’t want her to see me squirm. She gave a slight nod of her head, meaning I met her standards and motioned for me to take a seat.

  “Are you prepared today, Bianca?” Nadine never beat around the bush. She’d built this company from the ground up and expected nothing less than the absolute best. That’s how I became her right hand; she demanded, and I rose to the occasion. Over the last five years, I’d proven that I delivered—every time. Perfection, professionalism, and punctuality. The three Ps that were Nadine’s mantra.

  “Of course.” Really, there was no way for me to prepare. I had no idea who I was meeting with, what type of event it was, or how much time this would take, but I’d never tell Nadine that.

  “Good. I want you to take special care of these clients. They’re important and need to be treated with the utmost care and discretion.” She tipped her glasses down her nose, gazing at me over them. “They’re our top priority as a company. Anything you need, you let me know. If they want you to paint the sky purple, you make damn sure you get it done, understood?”

  Nerves tingled in my stomach. Whoever these clients were, they were big. “You know you can count on me.”

  “That’s why I assigned them to you.” She handed me a manila folder from her desk. There wasn’t any writing on it or any indication of what I was getting myself into. She narrowed her eyes at me. “Everything else you’ve been working on has been handed off to other planners. You are to work on nothing else. If this goes well, we can expect a whole new level of clientele.”

  I fought the urge to look in the folder. I was so anxious about who I was going to be working with, but I didn’t want Nadine to know. I portrayed my usual self-control. We’d planned galas, weddings, and birthday parties for some big clients already. A few movie stars, some musicians, and almost all the sports figures in the city came to us. We already had A-list clients. Who was making Nadine so twitchy? “I’ll do everything in my power to make sure they’re satisfied.”

  Nadine gave me a shrewd smile and pushed her glasses back up her nose. She turned her attention back to her computer screen, her interest no longer in this conversation. “You should head to your office. They’re waiting for you.”

  A twinge of annoyance raced along my spine. If these clients were so important, why did Nadine keep me in here to chat? To intimidate me and make me feel like I couldn’t handle these clients? I was early to the office, as I always was. “I thought the appointment wasn’t for another fifteen minutes,” I said as I checked my watch.

  “They got here early, Bianca. The bride-to-be is most eager to get started.” Nadine raised her hand from her keyboard and actually shooed me away. Sometimes, I wanted to smack her across her perfectly made-up face.

  I didn’t bother saying anything before I slipped out the door. I rushed to my own office and noticed the wall of windows I had separating my space from the rest of the floor were blocked by my drawn blinds. Seeing that, it sunk in that this was no joke. The fact that I knew it was a wedding filled me with a slight amount of dread. I hoped to God she wasn’t going to be a bridezilla. I didn’t have the patience for them with normal clients, but a client that Nadine was so set on pleasing…
This could end badly.

  I paused briefly outside of my office, tugging down my blazer and smoothing my skirt. I ran my hands over my hair, making sure nothing was out of place. I straightened my posture and plastered my most endearing smile on my face. My planning persona washed over me, making me unflappable, pleasant, and orderly. I opened my door.

  “I’m so sorry to have kept you waiting,” I said as I strode across my office. My eyes connected with the female sitting across from my desk and I steeled myself. This client wasn’t just a big name, she was the name. And then…

  And then I was leveled by the freight train that was my past.

  Part One

  BEFORE

  Chapter 1

  Age 14

  I shifted the package under my Christmas tree as I waited for Nash to show up. He was leaving tomorrow to visit family in Erie, so we were exchanging our presents tonight. I’d worked really hard to save up for his gift, and I couldn’t wait to give it to him. I’d taken extra babysitting jobs, mowed extra lawns, and even shoveled snow. My muscles were still sore from the snow storm we’d gotten a few days earlier. As soon as I’d gotten home from school, I picked up the snow shovel and knocked on doors. It was well after dark when I’d finished. My mom had taken me to the mall today since I’d finally scraped enough together. It was a close call, but I wanted to get him the best present possible.

  Nash and me. Me and Nash. For so many years, we were almost synonymous. You couldn’t have one of us without the other. We were a matched set, a perfect pair, inseparable in every way. He was my best friend, and I was his. There was one constant in my life, and it was Nash. Other than my parents, Nash was the person I loved most in this world. I had other friends and even another best friend, but none of them held the place in my heart that Nash did.

  We’d met on our first day of kindergarten. The bully of our grade had dared me to jump off the swing in midair. I was completely unable to turn down a dare, so I did. I fell and crash-landed on the playground, completely shredding my knees and hands, and I was a bloody mess, literally. Nash ran across the playground and helped me to the nurse’s office and stayed with me while my wounds were cleaned, and my mom was called. From that day forward, I knew he was good people. It’s not often in life you meet someone you can’t imagine living without and it’s even rarer to meet that someone at five. I lucked out when it came to Nash.

  Over the years, I’d been there for him in every way I could. I was there during his first piano recital and cheered him on when he played baseball. He was present at my Girl Scouts ceremonies and during my ill-fated attempt at jazz lessons, when I’d fallen over and knocked over the girls around me.

  We were like spaghetti and meatballs, the perfect combination.

  And tonight, I felt like I was handing him a giant sign that said, “I like you more than a friend.” There was no going back now. My stomach was in my throat, and my hands continually ran over my red Christmas dress. For some reason, I’d wanted to dress up tonight. As if there wasn’t enough pressure.

  The doorbell rang, and my hands immediately dampened with nerves. I strode to the door, opening it. “Hey,” I greeted Nash and waved him inside.

  “What’s up, Bee?” he asked, pulling his book bag higher up on his shoulder, grinning at me. My stomach flipped at his smile. My cheeks heated, and I turned away, not wanting him to notice. I grabbed his hand, which was really just an excuse to touch him, and pulled him into the living room. In kindergarten, on the first day, I’d jumped off a swing and fallen badly. I’d scraped my knees and my hands. Nash was there to help me. He dusted me off, helped me to the nurse, and sat with me until the nurse got me all cleaned up. The next day, I’d brought him brownies my mom and I had made as a thank you for helping me out. When I’d given them to him, he’d thanked me and called me bumble bee, which was the start of him calling me Bee. When I’d asked him why, he said, “When you flew through the air, you looked like a bee going into a flower.”

  “You can put your stuff under the tree.” I sat on the couch as he rolled his eyes.

  “Really? I have to put them under the tree?” He unzipped his bag and pulled out a beautifully wrapped package. I wondered if his sister, Hazel, had wrapped it for him.

  “That’s the deal on Christmas. Presents under the tree, then you open them.” I loved the way the gifts looked underneath the tree. Something about the way the lights reflected off the beautiful paper made my heart warm and my lips smile.

  “It’s okay to bend the rules a little bit, you know,” he grumbled.

  I bit back a laugh. “These aren’t rules I want to break.” I raised an eyebrow at him, daring him to push the issue farther, especially since he knew I was a notorious rule follower. He was the rule breaker in our duet.

  “Nash, you’re here,” my mom said as she floated in the room. She had on a red Christmas sweater and a matching skirt. She set a tray with two mugs of hot chocolate on it, along with dishes of marshmallows, chocolate, and candy canes to mix in.

  “Hi, Mrs. Fair.” He grabbed a mug of chocolate and took a sip, yelping when he burnt his lip. My mom didn’t use the packets from the store, she had some complicated recipe that she spent way too much time on.

  “Are you ready to visit family tomorrow?” She stood in the doorway back to the dining room, a pleasant smile on her face. Really, she wanted to make it known that she was around. Even though Nash had been my best friend for forever, she liked to let him know that she was keeping an eye on the two of us.

  Nash shrugged. “Yeah, I guess.”

  “I’m sure they can’t wait to see you.” She smiled and breezed from the room, a faint hint of her perfume trailing behind her.

  “Is she ever not dressed up and wearing makeup?” Nash asked as he dropped a handful of marshmallows into his mug. A few fell on the floor, and I fought the urge to bend and pick them up. They’d have to be gone before my mom noticed, but I didn’t need to show how much it bothered me that they were there. Or how much Nash’s slurping drove me batty.

  “Sometimes when she makes coffee.” I put a piece of chocolate in my cup, stirred it with a candy cane, and added marshmallows on top, then took a sip. The minty chocolate flavor was divine.

  “I think my dad would fall over if my mom was always so put together.” He snorted out a laugh. My mom loved the appearance of perfection. Her makeup was always done, her clothes matched and slightly dressy, and her hair styled. Even after a long day in court, she never looked disheveled.

  I laughed. “Want to exchange gifts now?” I asked, nerves growing wings in my stomach again.

  “Sure.” He finished his hot chocolate and set the mug on the coffee table. I’d have to make sure to wipe away any ring left behind. We moved over to sit next to the tree. Nash gazed at the gift I hefted next to me. “Please tell me you didn’t go crazy.”

  “I didn’t go crazy.” I smiled innocently at him.

  “Who do you want to go first?” Nash asked, avoiding my look. He bit the corner of his lip.

  I shrugged. “Let’s go at the same time.” I slid my offering toward him, and he handed me his.

  “On the count of three,” he said. I nodded. “One. Two. Three.” We tore through the wrapping paper in silence. “Bianca,” he said, his voice breathy and full of awe. He tore open the box and took the guitar out of it, his hands and eyes full of reverence. “You didn’t have to buy this.” He held the guitar he’d been staring at for years in his lap, and it fit in his arms perfectly.

  “It’s a few years coming, but…” I shrugged, not knowing what to say. Heat climbed in my cheeks again as he looked between me and the guitar.

  His green eyes glistened, and he ran a hand through his messy hair as he cleared his throat. “Thank you, Bee.” His voice was hoarse like he was choked with emotion. He trailed his fingers over the wood reverently. I couldn’t wipe the smile off my face. Every pulled muscle, calloused finger, and night spent in instead of going out was worth the look on his face right n
ow. I couldn’t wait for his parents to tell him the rest. After several long moments, he turned his attention to me. “You haven’t even looked at what I got you.” His fingers absentmindedly moved over the strings as though he were stroking it, filling it with love before he pulled music from it.

  I turned my attention back to the unwrapped package in front of me. I’d been so wrapped up in Nash I’d forgotten what I was doing. I finished taking the paper off it and stared in awe. It was an Erin Condren planner, a notepad, and a big pack of colored pencils. I’d wanted one of these for so long, but I never thought I’d get it. My mom thought it was ridiculous for a high school freshman to own such expensive stationary. The designs were so beautiful, and now I could be even more organized. “Thank you so much, Nash. You even got the pattern I really wanted.” The edges of the calendar were swirls of purple and teal that matched the notepad. The colored pencils were even more beautiful in real life.

  “I know you’ve wanted those, so…” His voice trailed off. He shrugged as if it wasn’t a big deal.

  But it was a huge deal. The fact that he’d paid attention to what I’d been not-so-secretly wanting made a smile creep on my face. My belly did a dance knowing that he’d heard the hints I’d dropped to my parents, knowing that he’d paid attention. I set my gifts to the side and crawled the few feet over to him, hugging him. I breathed in his scent and absorbed the warmth radiating from him as the side of the guitar poked into my stomach. He wrapped his arms around me.